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  • Meg Yvonne

What to Do When You're Ready to Get Healthy, But Your Spouse or BFF Say No


Today is the day. You’re motivated. You're ready to start your fitness routine. You're ready to change your lifestyle. You spent the night before coming up with a nutritious shopping list, you have a plan, and you feel that this time it’ll stick. You’re going to get healthy and get into the best shape of your life. You tell your spouse and that’s when it happens: the excuses, the resistance, the backhanded remarks that hint that you’re going to fail.

Wait, what? (Cue record scratch here) Shouldn’t your significant other be your biggest cheerleader? What about your best friend? I mean, can you really go at this alone? Even worse, sometimes it may feel that they’re not only not supporting you, but they’re actively holding you back. What, then, can you do when you’re trying to live a healthy lifestyle, but nobody seems to care? Or worse, they instigate bad eating and lazy habits.

Can You Get Fit on Your Own?

There’s nothing quite as crushing as feeling like your friends and significant other aren’t supporting you in your fitness goals. No matter how adamant you may feel that you can do this, if you feel like Debby Downer over there picking at your salad while you’re out with friends, or your spouse wants to watch a movie complete with a greasy pizza and popcorn and you’d rather go on a hike, the wind can quickly go out of your sails.

So what can you do when you’re wanting to turn over a new leaf, but nobody’s got your back? These three suggestions may help you stay the course, even when you’re trying to get into shape by yourself.

1) Talk to them. Before you throw your hands up in frustration and chew your BFF or spouse’s ear off, instead lend them your ear. They may have their own good reasons for not wanting to join you in your fitness journey. Maybe your significant other is afraid of giving up your Friday night pizza-and-movie tradition. Perhaps your bestie is afraid that you’ll stop wanting to do Sunday brunch with them anymore. What if they feel threatened by the thought of you losing weight? Many spouses can worry that their husband or wife will become too attractive and lose interest in them. The same goes for best friends; you’d be surprised at how deep-seated jealousy can be. Talk to them both and assure them that you’re still the same person and still want to spend time with them. Pizza and movies, and Sunday brunches can still be your “thing” but maybe you can reach for a veggie pizza with half cheese on your share, and how about after your brunch, you stroll around the mall afterward?

2) Lead by example. You can’t undergo a major nutrition and fitness overhaul without ruffling a few feathers, but you can try to minimize the damage. Instead of demanding that they change alongside with you, instead step up and help out in the kitchen. Whip up dinner tonight, but add a salad alongside your entree, or pan sear your chicken instead of deep-frying it. Instead of shaking your partner awake at 5 a.m. to go for a jog, instead, suggest a fun (but easy!) hike this weekend that you can do together. Or rent a tandem bike and explore the city. Invite your best friend to go to the beach with you and see if you can sneak into a volleyball game while you’re there. Either way, you can make fitness and nutrition fun and maybe even coax your spouse or your best friend into joining you!

3) Just deal with it. Look, you are a grown-up. While it would be admittedly a major bummer if you had to start your new healthy lifestyle on your own, you can handle it by yourself. You don’t need your partner or friends to support you. If you’ve already tried talking to them, encouraging them, and assuring them and they’re still not on board, then you’re going to move forward without their support. This would be a good time to ask yourself some hard questions, too. Are they simply not joining you on your new venture, or are they actively trying to hold you back and sabotage you? If it’s the former, then you can handle it, but if it’s the latter, then you may need to have a tough conversation with them and see why they feel threatened by your goals... Adulting is hard.

Even if you’ve faced resistance from your closest friends and partner, you don’t need to tackle your new fitness and nutrition goals by yourself. If you are thinking hard about improving your health and your spouse and friends aren’t feeling it, but you still feel like you could use an accountability partner, why not drop us a line and see if we can help you out? If you're looking for the best personal trainers in the Mount Pleasant and Charleston area, look no further -- we’ve worked with so many clients just like you. We can coach you every step of the way and help you turn into the athlete you’ve always dreamed of being. Why wait? Call or message us today!

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